EMail is better than phone calls because: You never get a busy signal (Oops, are you still using a dialup modem?) When you EMail someone they're always home... eventually You never have to listen to someone else's inane answering machine message that they took great pride in recording themselves or having their child who has just barely learned to talk record for them -OR- You never have to listen to one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine like: "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is Share the love."   Beep. [Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling.... Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.] You never have to listen to a recording telling you that the menu you have never heard before has changed and gives you a list of "new" menu options that never seem to even remotely address the particular issue you happen to be calling about, leaving you wondering if the "old" menu might have had what you needed and wishing they would put it back so you could find out You never have to take the receiver with the keypad built into it away from your ear so you can look at it to make sure you are pressing the correct number(s) only to wonder if the recording you were listening to snuck in something important that you needed to hear while you weren't listening You're never put on interminable hold waiting for an "available representative" only to have one answer just when the hold system you were listening to started playing the song you really wanted to hear You never have to remember to write down the name of the person you spoke to only to find out, when someone else asks you later, that they no longer work there You never have to try to remember exactly what was said, you have a "permanent" record unless a "friend" EMails you a virus or your computer crashes and you thought "Backup" was something you only had to concern yourself with when it happened to your plumbing You can send an EMail at any time, 24 Hrs/day, so insomnia is no longer a lifestyle impediment You can read an EMail at any time, 24 Hrs/day, so working nights or graveyard is no longer a lifestyle impediment No one will ever put you on hold in the middle of an EMail You can almost never make a "Freudian slip" in an EMail You can spell check an EMail so that you appear intelligent or just capable of using a lot of strange words that don't make any sense when used together but your spell checker blithely passes over as if they belong there You'll never get "disconnected" in the middle of an EMail just when you were about to make the most important point of the whole conversation You never have to wait or get "Lost" while your EMail is being transferred to the person who can really answer your question You never have to hear "this conversation will be recorded" and kick yourself for the n th time for your failure to get a recording device for your phone so you can have a tape of it, too You never have to repeat yourself - If someone else needs the same information, just cut & paste or hit 'Forward' Unless you have your computer turned up Real Loud, EMail will never interrupt you during sex (or most anything else for that matter, but let's stick to what's important) © JLS - 1999